CASTLE ROZENSTEIN

...Can you imagine a rose, with the most beautiful shade of red combined with dark green? Can you imagine a rose, with the purest and sweetest scent of that in the world? Can you imagine a rose, that with only one glance at it, you would fall in love, just like magic. And if you would name that rose, after someone you love. Someone who has all these qualities for you? What would you name it? I know what I would name it. But to understand why, I want you to know my story. Everything from the beginning. And I hope I won't bore you, because none of these events are even close to boring when they happened to me.

1.
Introduction.
Paris, France, 1511. It was a clear summers day. I was sitting in my room, right by the window with a paper and pen in my hand. I looked out through the window, watching my siblings play on the yard with eachother.
"Hizaki!" screamed my little sister, Elizabeth, after she spotted my position in the window.
I waved back with a smile on my face, and leaned over to open the window carefully.
"Why don't you come down and play with us, Hizaki?" she said, and I just nodded.
"But I am so well positioned here, I feel like staying here. I will go and ask maman if we will eat soon" I said back to her and waved once before I closed the window.
I hid the paper, where I had my own secret notes, underneath my pillow before I opened the door out to the hallway. This house is big, like an big square with many rooms and hundreds of details everywhere. Maman is very interested in architecture, and always wanted a big house with golden edges. Maybe thats why she married papa in the first place, for his fortune. Maybe they loved eachother once, but they are always in each end of the house to avoid contact with eachother except when it's time for supper. It makes me doubt the fact that you can love someone for a longer time. I sure don't want to get married, I don't want to end the same. But also... who would accept me after they know of my secret? My family knows, but noone else. I once met a man, his name was Philip. An elegant and polite man was he. I think I loved him, and one day he asked for my hand in marriage. But I can not accept until I had told him the truth, but he then denied me. He said I was disgusting and that he never wanted to see me again. Never had I heard him say such harsh words. Never. Then he suddenly said them to me.
But if I tell you... will you react the same? I haven't even started, and I don't want you to go already. But neither do I wanna lie for you. My hair is long and blond, with swift curls. When I dress up for parties etc, I tend to wear my more detailed dresses and with more details to my hair. When people meet me for the first time, they say they are astonished by my beauty and elegance. I am of course very happy about hearing such things, but I believe everyone can look just like I do. Almost anyways, if they just put some time on it. But my dresses are different from everyother girls. The boobs... they are not attached to my body, but they are sewed to the dress. My appearence is like a girl, because I am feminine and have always looked like it. Inside I feel like a woman. But my body is that of a boy, a man. That is my secret. I am worried nobody will love me because of my secret. I am not acceptable. Maman wishes I will not tell the next one who proposes my secret until after we are married, but I can't do that. Why don't I dress like a man then, might you think. But see, I do not want to attract girls to marriage. I would look like a girl dressed as a boy, thanks to my face and feminine hips.
Now you know my secret. Are you still here? Thank you so much. Please, do not judge me.
"Hizaki" maman said downstairs, just as I started walking down the steps.
"Yes, maman. I am coming" I answered with and came closer, until I stood in front of her.
"Hizaki, I need you to go fetch your brothers and sisters. It is time for supper, make sure they are properly dressed" maman, Antoinette, told me and waved at me fast with her hand.
"Maman!" I sighed. "It takes a lot of time for me to make the boys change their clothes. Please, it is not fair to give me the full responsebility for them. If I do no succeed, I will be the one at blame."
Maman looked thoughtful and then lifted her shoulders once.
"You do as I tell you to do. But you do have a point, I will send someone for the boys," she said and walked away quickly from me.
I don't believe she hates me, nor do I believe that she wished for someone like me. To have a son this way. A son that will probarly never get married, then what will I do? Is this how life is supposed to be?
I walked toward the big door, who stood open. The sun rays came suddenly up in my face and I took a deep breath from the clear air. It felt nice. Then my legs started taking me to the back of the side, where everyone still was.
"Girls!" I shouted with a friendly smile to gain their attention. "Supper is almost done, hurry up and get dressed!"
"Hizaki, you have not played with us all day. How do you fare?" said my second little sister, Anna, with a worried look on her face.
"Worry not dearest Anna. I have only been occupied with the problems of my mind, but next time I will try and join you," I said and they started walking to their rooms where they would change outfits.


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